The Chameleon

It's interesting watching people mold themselves into someone different based on the people they're around or the impression they're trying to make. It bugs me because you should be able to be who you are, and if someone doesn't like it then too bad for them. I don't hide who I am, but I also don't broadcast it to the world. If someone asks me something about myself I will answer it honestly. That's different from portraying myself as someone I'm not. I may not be perfect, but I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, and I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to admit that this is who I am, faults and all.

I've seen people wander in and out of my life based on where they're at in their own lives. If they need me, they're in my life. But when they don't, or when I don't fit the persona they're trying to portray, they aren't in my life. It's as simple as that. Perhaps this should bug me, and maybe it does to some extent, but I've come to realize that these people really aren't that important to be worrying about.

I had a nice little trek down my the river today. Although my summer is not likely going to play out the way I thought it was going to, I think it's going to be alright. I have a big plan--BC!!--and some not-so-big plans--golfing and camping with friends. I've noticed a change in my personality lately... I find myself being more adventurous and more willing to step outside my box. I'm being more spontaneous and I have to admit it's pretty fun. Although I still have my ups and downs (see my previous blog) overall I'm content. I feel like I'm finally starting to experience life. My major "to-do" list is pretty much done, and if you put the bills and grown-up obligations to the side, all that's left to do is enjoy the ride.

A couple of thoughts that have gotten me through the roller-coaster of emotions that have made up the past week:

"I feel like my morals and values are my own demise, and that just doesn't seem fair"

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

First of all, despite the first quote feeling very true, I am stubborn enough to not want to give up my morals and values for anyone or anything. Sure I could be your sugar momma, but do I want to? No, not if that's the kind of treatment I'm going to get. I've been burned before, and although I can't guarantee it won't ever happen again, I can at least be smart about it this time. Second... well the quote says it all. I think I deserve a lot better than some of what I've seen/experienced, and I'm going to hang in there till I get it.

Morals of today's blog: be proud and accepting of who you are. Don't ever settle. And don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful... ;)