It's about two and a half weeks till my birthday. Every year in the month or so before my birthday I feel invincible. Some pretty awesome things have happened during this time historically, so it's gotten to my head to the point where I feel like I could walk into oncoming traffic and not get hit as long as it's during that month before my birthday. Okay not really, but you get my point.
Around the end of July/beginning of August I was in a bit of a funk. I felt anti-social and really just wanted to be alone or with my family. I think two days of partying have brought that to an end lol. Although nothing life-shattering has happened yet, I have had some pretty good revelations.
- I'm finding my backbone and my feet to stand on. It's getting easier and easier to stand up for myself and the things I believe in without caring as much about who I hurt in the process. If you're coming after me, I'm going to fight back. No one is in a better position to defend me than me, so I've gotta do what I've gotta do. I feel like there are a lot of things in my life that are out of my control, so damn does it feel good to be able to control the things that I can.
- I am a damn good person, and anyone who tries to say otherwise is full of shit. "I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday"... and the things that happened to me. I'm not entirely sure how I reached adulthood with such a good head on my shoulders, but I'm glad I did. I'm proud of my own focus and dedication in not changing who I am or compromising for anyone--unless of course it is for my own good or betterment. Pick your battles wisely and don't just change for the sake of making someone else happy.
- I've always been incredibly mature for my age. It's a result of the situation I grew up in... I had a lot of responsibility at a young age and having a handicapped brother taught me things about life that I'm sure some people still don't know or understand. I'm almost 27 and for over a year now I've felt like my life is pretty much set. I have a home, a career that I love, and some great friends and family. It's strange to see how much has changed in the past year. Strange to see how many of my friends are engaged now. In a sense I feel like I'm lagging behind, but then again I was never the kid to dream of a fairy-tale wedding. All I've seen in life is failed marriages and unhealthy relationships, so maybe it's okay that I'm taking my time in that area. I still don't know if marriage is in my future--only time will tell. It's scared the hell out of me for the longest time because I've always thought of it as something that's bound to fail. Anything can happen though...
- Despite feeling like I have to find a specific group of people to fit in with... I think I'm just fine where I am. I get along great with everybody but I'm not too involved where I get caught up in any drama. It's actually a pretty good place to be. The only downfall is that sometimes I feel like I'm lacking deep, meaningful relationships... but I've got a few close friends that I'm confident I can always turn to.
Things with my family are good. No news is good news on that subject. Work still has me a bit stressed, however. I moved offices last week. As much as I like the guy I'm sharing an office with now, I miss being by myself and never getting interrupted. I used to be tucked away at the top of some stairs where no one ever bothered me except temps that were looking for the supervisor's office. Now I'm in the shipping office so there are always people coming and going. I'm glad busy season is winding down otherwise I would be a cranky camper if I was being run off my feet and being interrupted at the same time. I am still stuck in limbo between two different jobs and different managers both wanting me to fill their positions, but that will work itself out eventually. I had a great talk with my mom and I think I know which path I'm going to take when given the chance--and assuming the offer is acceptable. I'm a bit concerned about my decision to buy company shares, though. After talking to a couple of other people I've decided it's not something I should rush into, and I should probably go over the stipulations with a fine-toothed comb. As much as I would love to do it, I'm not in a position to take a huge risk. And depending on the risks involved, I may have to pass up the opportunity. I know I would probably end up regretting it, but I'm walking a fine line financially and I don't want to risk putting everything I've worked for in jeopardy.
That's all that's new and exciting in my life. Until next time...
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