Watch what you say

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about words and actions and what they can convey, either combined or separately. This is as a result of my last blog... and a ridiculous weekend in general.

I don't generally apologize for anything I say in my blogs. They are simply my opinions, and not everyone will agree with everything I say. I posed the "that's gay" scenario to my mom when she was over for supper last night. She agreed with me--that sometimes people take things too literally. This shouldn't surprise me, because a lot of my opinions are formed from the way I was raised. So in a sense my mom has passed a lot of her beliefs on to me. Not all of them--she thinks being gay is a 'chosen' lifestyle and I disagree--but we certainly agree on a lot of things. I'm going to steal part of this blog from an e-mail I wrote... and I apologize to the person who the e-mail was sent to. I'm sorry this blog doesn't contain 100% new material :P

It seems like society in general is getting so carried away with trying not to offend anyone... Native Americans, persons of colour, differently-abled.... there are so many sugar coated ways to say things nowadays. You're from Africa... therefore you are African. Your skin is dark, mine is light, so if I call you black, why is that offensive? If I call myself white, isn't that equally offensive? If I say that my job is driving me crazy, is that an insult to anyone with any sort of mental illness? It just seems like society is getting too carried away with trying to be nice, when really, not everything is meant as an insult. I think context has a lot to do with it, like the "retard" example from my previous blog. If I tried, I'm sure I could find multiple things to take offence to every day. But there are much bigger problems in the world. If you want to go down to city hall and march around with a sign protesting the BP oil spill, go for it. But what will it accomplish? The oil is already out there and now it needs to be cleaned up. Someone needs to take accountability and ensure it doesn't happen again. How will a dozen people marching around with signs in front of city hall change something that has already happened, or how does it help with the clean-up efforts?

Disclaimer: Please no hate mail... I understand that we are all entitled to our opinions and yours may very well differ from mine. These are all general examples and I am in no way, shape, or form trying to offend anyone or single anyone out.

This whole scenario has caused me to take a step back and look at how I say things. I think I am very cautious when communicating in print. I always read my e-mails two or three times before sending them (especially at work) to make sure they sound okay. I think I generally write the same way I would speak. The problem with writing is that you don't get to hear the enunciation or see the accompanying facial expressions. The thing I love about it is that there are Delete and Backspace keys. Once words are spoken, however, there's no taking them back. I think everyone has been bitten by that at least once in their lifetime. Even in writing though, it's so easy to lose respect, credibility, and so much more if your writing conveys the wrong tone.

In the opening line of this blog I also made reference to actions. I can't really think of a generic example for that right now, so I'm going to leave it. Everything I try to say comes out sounding snarky and venomous. (Me?! Nooooo! lol)

Another random rant that has been on my mind. It frustrates me when people think I have the world by the tail because I've got a fake smile on my face. "You own your own condo... you must make a lot of money and have a great life!" No, as a matter of fact I don't. And do you have any idea what I've had to give up in order to get this condo? Ask me about the sacrifices and choices I make every day. Ask me how I feel about having no family to turn to if I'm short money for groceries--never mind asking for help making a mortgage payment. Ask me how it feels to see every one of my family members come from failed relationships, broken homes, and barely having two cents to rub together. And then people say I'm no fun because I don't want to go party at the bar, drop $40 on over-priced drinks and another $20 on a cab ride home. You realize $60 is almost half of my grocery budget for the month, right? Not a day goes by that I don't worry about my car breaking down (after 4 months of dealing with a check engine light that won't stay off), another cash call from the condo board, or my mom coming to me again saying she's short on rent and getting an eviction notice--again. It frustrates the hell out of me that I can't go on vacations as often as I'd like... I can't make minor improvements to my condo like painting or changing the door frames... I can't put as much into RRSP's as I would like to... and I can't do preventative maintenance on my car as often as I should. But these are the choices I make. I am going to have a roof over my head, a roof that I can call my own. With or without a partner. I am going to do everything in my power to save for my retirement, with or without a partner. I am going to have a job--no, a career--that I love, and I am going to bust my ass and make whatever sacrifices are necessary to be the best damn employee they've ever had. With or without a partner. If you think I'm a nobody because I don't have a 'real' university degree, that's your issue, not mine. If you think I'm dull and boring because I don't play all sorts of sports and have all sorts of hobbies, that's your issue, not mine. I am satisfied with my life, how and with whom I choose to spend my time and money, and if you choose to judge me as a lesser person because of this... so be it. Last but not least, I am going to hold my fucking head high, look you in the eye, and tell you exactly what I think and how I feel. I am raw, I am emotional, I am real, and although I may be far from perfect, I am me. And if that makes me a lesser person in your eyes, then so be it.

*Ahem* I needed to get that off my chest more than any of you will ever know.

Be careful what you say, folks. A good lesson for all of us.