Texts from last night, Volume 3

My dear friends... I am so sorry! I went from posting sometimes twice a week to virtually nothing. I've been super busy with work and getting ready for Christmas. I do have another blog in the works (been jotting down thoughts as they come to me) but for now some Texts From Last Night will have to tide you over. I'll confess that these have been sitting in a file on my desktop for a long time... yes, I realize Big Brother ended in September. My bad... :P

Enjoy these until I have time to do an acutal update...

- In reference to golfing: "I drank for 8 hours and bonded with my irons. What more can a girl ask for?"
- You know it's going to be a great Hoarders when she starts off with "I've never been fond of housework"
- If the hall and stairway is part of my 'home' people can't get mad at me for not wearing pants down to the mailboxes can they?
- Don't fuck with a fairy!- Long day at work. Working on second drink, watching Sunday's Big Brother. Almost pissed myself laughing at something probably not that funny
- I just didn't want to say 'I have problems shitting when I'm not at home' on your facebook wall
- In reference to Thanksgiving: "I'm not into that stuff, thanking and all that. I just like the holiday for the food lol. But I guess that's from my family"
- I love how 5 pages into this lesbian magazine I've seen both a tire and an SUV ad :P
- Most people get blisters from doing hard work. I get mine from opening beer bottles for the guys after work
- Sorry in advance if there is an explosion in your kitchen
- Do other people gauge the success of their weekend on whether or not they got electrocuted?- After a night of drinking at home: "There is an empty chip bag in the cupboard where my plates should be"
- There are few things more frustrating than failed attempts at retail therapy
- It's funny, if you stand in a room long enough you eventually DO remember what you came in there for!
- If you jam gum far enough down someone's throat, will they blow bubbles out their ass?
- My screen just went blank, kinda like my head often
- I can't believe you have to turn the fucking coffee pot on for it to work. Like really!
- So if you eat something then 10 mins later you're taking a dump, do you still have to include the food in your daily calories?

Later...