Yes, I'm still alive!

Wow... two months since my last post! Life has been flying by and I honestly didn't think it had been that long!

First, a few updates:

- My tattoo still isn't finished. I'm still on the cancellation list. I'm kind of disappointed... if I have to wait much longer it's going to mean I'll have to avoid swimming for a month this summer. Not cool :(

- My promotion is two or three weeks away yet. I had my meeting and let the managers at work know where I want to go within the company. It was a positive experience... they said they're definitely moving me forward. The management group has a round table "talent review" this week, which is where they determine merit based salary increases. Our HR manager is on vacation next week so I imagine it'll be early May before we have a chance to all get together again and determine my new job title, description, and salary. The great thing is that my salary will be retroactive to April 1. :)

- Condo renovations are still in progress. I'm finished everything except the storage room, my bedroom, and one side of the hallway. The bathroom still needs a few finishing touches, and one wall in the living room is still splotchy. I'm hoping to get it fixed up soon.

- The girl I was interested in when I last posted is no longer of interest. Okay maybe kinda... lol. But she's seeing someone else and I think she's way too young for me.

As for what else has been going on... I took in a roommate! A friend of mine needed a place to stay and I have to admit it's going quite well so far. I was really leery after my last failed attempt at having a roommate, but this one is super awesome and I love her to bits! We've been having a ton of fun together and far more bar nights than I'd like to admit lol.

Now that I'm sitting down and trying to force out a blog I find it's not going nearly as well as I'd hoped. I'm trying to reflect on the last two months of my life and I can't really think of anything to say. Clearly I need to blog more often lol.

I suppose I should talk about the latest girl. Unfortunately for you I'm not in an overly descriptive mood, so you're getting the short version. This was someone I'd liked for a long time... about a year and a half or two years. I liked her from the first time I met her but she was seeing someone else at the time. I went on with my life but then ended up bumping into her again last fall. I found out that she was single and I was very interested. However we were at the bar and she ended up making out with someone else :( Then (in one of my crazy nights out with my new roommate) I bumped into her again at the bar about a month and a half ago. There was a night that ended with making out at the bar, more hanging out, drinking, and making out... a night where I went home with her (but didn't do anything--I swear!) and more hanging out and making out. Then next thing I know she's at the bar making out with someone else, who apparently she's kinda/sorta seeing now. Talk about fucked up.

So yeah... the past three weeks or so have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. I finally broke down and cried last week... it actually felt really good and I think it's what I needed. Different things trigger different emotions... sometimes I'm high on life and other times I find myself feeling like crap because of this girl. Since the ex and I broke up I haven't made it this far with anyone. I always get shot down before we even have a chance to make out lol. So this one hit pretty hard even though we were only... well whatever we were... for a few weeks. Add to it the fact that I'd liked her looooooong before this, and yeah... it hurts.

I wish I could tell you where I'm at right now but I don't even know that myself. I've got a lot of good things going for me, and I don't need to settle for being just an option for someone. But at the same time I see a lot of potential in this girl after getting to know her. I just don't think we're at the same point in life, and I think she's got some things she needs to sort out first. It's tough. I gave her some good food for thought though... I was so impressed with myself I needed to write it down somewhere:

"It's easier to seek out relationships and experiences where we know we're going to end up hurt in the end. It gives you a feeling of control and takes away the fear of the unknown. But where does it get you in the end? The biggest rushes for me have come from taking a leap of faith. You might get hurt or things might not work out... but what if they do? Opening yourself up can make you feel truly alive and free."

This past weekend I finally got to see Tiesto live in concert--SUCH an amazing show! My only regret/disappointment is that my feet and ankles couldn't handle more dancing lol I also went to a roller derby for the first time--another cool experience! And last week I had a reading with a psychic... he said lots of interesting things but I'm too tired to get into it all now.

I'm off on a 9 or 10 hour road trip with the roomie this weekend. All I can say is there will be strippers, a 40 of Captain Morgan's, a mickey of Crown Royal, and a hell of a good time! My apologies that this post isn't up to my usual standard... I need to scrape the barnacles off my brain :P I promise not to write again unless I have some deep shit to share lol

Peace out!

"I don't know
What went wrong
If I did
Would it matter cause
It just wasn't enough

You know when the moment comes
To be strong
Show resistance
And that's what
We're lead to believe

When the big world falls apart
And you think that the feeling will linger
You need somewhere to start
I will be here"